I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

The realization that I will never see my dad again, hug him or hear his laugh, hits me [every.single.day] but some days it hits me like a train, and in the most unexpected ways.

Yesterday, I was driving home and the radio announcer introduced a new Christina Aguilera song. I figured with pop stars these days, it would be another electronic dance hit, but when the song started playing, what I felt was unexpected.

By the end of the song, I was pulled over on the side of the highway crying hysterically muttering the words of the song in that horrible cry/singing voice that only you can understand. 

"Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you."

I think about all the times I/we tried to save him and all the times that in my/our efforts to save him, I/we ended up more hurt. It's hard not to feel the guilt, I know we all do, and I know that unfortunately some people look at my sisters and I with judging eyes as if we could have done something - worked some sort of miracle.

If only they really, truly, knew.....

Music According to Jes

This is an incredible year for music. Went to the Black Keys concert in Cincinnati last weekend, probably going to a Radiohead concert in June, just heard Weezer is coming to Cincinnati for a small music festival this summer, and I am anxiously waiting for the Lolla line-up to come out.

Also, I live right across the street from an outdoor music venue!! My mind is going to explode with happiness. 

I hope you enjoy this month's playlist. Thank you to my friends Adam, Kelsey, and Denny for your suggestions! Suggestions are always welcome. I love sharing music so keep em coming! (obviously).

Instagram photos from THE.Black.Keys :)

 

 

 

 xoxox,

jes

Music According to Jes: January

Lets Talk Music!

My favorite gig poster! I found it online for $150 but we all know I can't afford that!

Last week my lovely boyfriend got us two tickets to the Black Keys show this March in Cincinnati! I am extra excited about this show because it is the first show back in the U.S. and they are kicking it off with their Ohio roots. It's the perfect recipe for an amazing show.

Check out my favorite video - Lonely Boy. Makes me smile every time.

Music According to Jes: Autumn

IT'S BACK!!!!!! Woo hoo woo hooo wooo hooo.

I thought the jet-setting days of Life According to Jes were over the day I left DC, but in a stroke of luck (maybe?) I am in Georgia this week for work and I am leaving Friday for Chicago to visit my handsome Jew boy. The Hampton Inn in Toccoa, GA may not be as luxurious as the Four Seasons Maui (ouch.. missing out on this still stings), and I may not even have a nice plush robe waiting for me in the closet, or even a real headboard to the bed, but it is travel nonetheless and I am grateful for it.

Every trip needs good music, so while the scarves warm my neck, this playlist warms my soul.

**Updates from this week of travel to come soon! (and my disastrous attempt at cake pops).

Blog Update

My blog needs some refreshing.. some rejuvenation.. some TLC.

I would love to make a new template for my blog, but I am sad to say that I have lost my Photoshop/digital design skills.. I don't think I ever really had them... but I wasted many hours of class playing with Photoshop on the lab computers in my college days. Sadly those days are gone, and along with the cheap booze filled nights, went my digital creativity "skills." If you know a graphic designer/ template designer that needs to build their portfolio email me at Jbarmstrong87@gmail.com. In exchange for an amazing design, I can provide you with a shout out on my home page (because I'm cheap.)

But seriously, I will give you a spot right here

and here

What happened to Music According to Jes?!

Nothing happened, besides the fact that I got a new job that takes up 13912439840 hours a day and I do not have the time to listen to music all day anymore *sad face. My love for music is still growing, so my compromise will be, that I will add a "Post Song" to every post for your listening enjoyment. And if that's not good enough for you, I will make a playlist widget for every season... and autumn is just around the corner.

What do you think?

Dear readers, who are you?

I would love to hear from you! Comment below by clicking this link on the toolbar under each post

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Updates to come soon, xoxox

Jes

Vinyl Love

It's no secret that I love music and as my birthday gift from Adam, I became a proud owner of a shiny new record player :)

I can't wait to start collecting vinyl!

Right Where We Left Off

My childhood best friend and I hadn't seen each other in going on four years!! Marg and I met when I moved to Michigan in the 2nd grade and by the time I left at the end of my 5th grade year, we were just too close to say "goodbye." Our college years made it tough to meet up, but when Marg called me back in December about the New Kids On The Block Backstreet Boys Concert #NKOTBSB in Washington DC, how could I say no!?

I was a grossly huge Backstreet Boys fan back in the day. Don't even get my sister started on the red and black BSB bucket hat I insisted on wearing around town.. my AIM screen name was even jba4ngc (JesBA4NicholasGeneCarter).. only because BSBgirl was taken. My top bunk bed became a shrine with posters lining the walls and ceiling.

My older sister was a huge New Kids fan so I also grew up listening to them, and playing with the Donnie and Joey Barbie Dolls. She even owned the NKOTB bed sheet set (I'm sure you did too).

So, the concert was ridiculous (as to be expected) and the classiest scariest most interesting crowd of women gathered outside of the Verizon Center to cheer on their main men. The concert was full of pelvis thrusting, surprisingly still ripped bods, screaming/panting women, love ballads, and cheesy dance moves (oh and Kevin the boring one didn't show up.. even better!). It was a night to remember.

"Backstreets Back ALRIGHT!"

"Please don't go girllllllllllll"

"We would like to thank Kevin for not being a part of this reunion tour.. because he is weird and boring."

Here's to promising not to wait four more years!

Love you :)

Marg and I :)

Music According to Jes: April

You know what they say... better late than never :)

 

**Don't forget to check out past playlists by clicking on the Music According to Jes tag at the bottom of the page

Music According to Jes: March

This month, I wanted to make a playlist featuring some of my favorite FEMALE artists. I was reminded how many wonderful women I have in my life. My little sister just moved out on her own, my older sister continues to do a fabulous job for Ronald McDonald House Charities, and my mom just passed her state board exam to become a nurse! My best friends are in grad school, teaching special education, and improving lives through children social work cases. And we can't forget the one who has once again put a roof over my head in DC, which I am forever grateful for.

February was not my favorite month and I know many of you feel the same. However, a lot of necessary changes happened and although they may seem stressful at the time, I am truly happy and ready to take on March with my head held high :)

My boyfriend, Adam and I decided to try long distance again. This time, it is better than ever and I have all the faith in the world that we'll make it work. Also, I moved into the city!! You can see the White House from the front of my apartment building! No big deal right?! I wish I could Google Map my address and show you all where I live now complete with charts and diagrams of all the fun things close by.. but since this is public information and I have views from all over the world... we'll just say that it's in the U Street area and I'm in love with it! I'm sure I'll have plenty to talk about in the weeks to come.

Which song is your favorite this month?

Don't forget to check out past months:

February 
January

December

November

October

September

Music According to Jes: January

A few good tunes to keep your ears warm :)

Haven't had enough? Click on the past playlists below:

Music According to Jes: December
Music According to Jes: November
Music According to Jes: October
Music According to Jes: September

Who Wants To Be My Plus 1?!

About every month, I check Amos Lee's website for tour dates near me... Last night, right before bed I checked again and GUESS WHAT?! He's coming to DC April 6!!

First thing this morning, I bought 2 tickets... one for me and one for an unknown person who will be the luckiest person in the world :) He's playing at 9:30 Club in DC, which is known for its intimate atmosphere and is, from what I hear, one of the best music venues in the country. I can't think of a better way to spend a cool April night...

A few of my paintings inspired by his songs:

"We all need a place where we can go and feel over the rainbow"

Amos Lee - Keep it Loose Keep it Tight

"When you're gone, all the colors seem to fade"

Amos Lee - Colors

And of course, a picture I drew of the man himself :)

The Man, The Myth, The Legend.

Music According to Jes: December

I really love this month's playlist and I hope you do too :) I have been listening to it on repeat for the past few weeks at work...

I tried a using a widget instead of connecting to YouTube this time so I hope you like it!



Past playlists:
November
October
September

Music According to Jes: November

I can't narrow it down to 10 songs anymore... I mean who likes short mix tapes anyways?!

All songs link to YouTube :) Enjoy!

1. Howl - Florence and The Machine
2. Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
3. Linger - The Cranberries
4. Swimming - Florence and The Machine
5. Lost and Found - Johnny Flynn
6. She's Got You High - Mumm-Ra
7. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service
8. Apologies - Grace Potter and The Nocturnals
9. Paperweight - Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk
10. The Lovers Are Losing - Keane
11. Piano Song - Meiko
12. Sick Muse - Metric
13. Where You're Coming From - Matt & Kim
(couldn't find it on YouTube but you can find it on Grooveshark.com)
14. For The Summer - Ray LaMontagne
15. How Do We Know - Katie Costello

This Is Why I Love Music...

...this song explains beautifully the way I feel sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm really beginning to love living in DC but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel "Lost And Far From Home" at times...

Music According to Jes - October

Music I enjoyed this month. Some old, some new... in no particular order:

(All songs link to YouTube)

1.All My Days - Alexi Murdoch                                
2.My Little Bee - Minipop
3.No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
4.City of Black & White - Mat Kearney
5.Stop This Train - John Mayer
6.Kathleen - David Gray
7.Never Far Away - Jack White
8.And Then You - Greg Laswell
9.Carry Me, Ohio - Sun Kil Moon
10.Sleep - Azure Ray

Enjoy :)

Music According to Jes - September

I'm always on the hunt for new music and I go through more phases than a teenage girl during puberty, but here some my favorite songs right now (no particular order):

• Uprising - Muse
• Sailing by Night - Department of Eagles
• Gold Guns Girls - Metric
• Penelope - Pinback
• The Funeral - Band of Horses
• Let Down - Radiohead
• Boy With a Coin - Iron & Wine
• Future Foe Senario - Silversun Pickups
• Substitution - Silversun Pickups
• You're the One - The Black Keys

A few new songs to keep your ears warm. Enjoy :)

*UPDATE: I linked each song to YouTube for easy listening!

3x5 John Mayer

I'm writing you to

catch you up on places I've been

And you have this letter

you probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it

didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping I would see the world through both my eyes

maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm

in the mood to lose my way with words

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy cliche'

And its strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky

are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera by my side this time

Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes

Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm

in the mood to lose my way

but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes

it brought me back to life

You'll be with me next time I go outside

No more 3x5's

I Guess you had to be there

I Guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame

tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame

Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to

lose my way but let me say

You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes

it brought me back to life

You'll be with me next time I go outside

no more 3x5's

just no more 3x5's