A new friend of mine asked me last night if I got taken advantage of a lot... In the "you're too nice of a person" kind of way.
I instantly wanted to be like, "NO NO. Never. I'm hard as a rock." After seconds of silence, which seemed like hours, I mumbled, "Yeah. Often times I get taken advantage of." The overwhelming sense of embarrassment probably wasn't hard to miss.
Hearing those words come out of my mouth was a little intimidating, but true. Am I TOO nice? Am I TOO giving? Am I TOO understanding? Is giving people the benefit of the doubt a weakness? In most cases, it has proven to be.
In fact, last night I spent way too much money on a gym membership (that I plan on canceling after 30 days to get my money back) for the mere fact that the sales guy was nice, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. No joke. I signed the dotted line for a gym membership even though the price was way too high, because the guy was nice?!
I know that there are a lot of people who have stabbed me in the back, or kicked me when I'm down, or in one case, took advantage of a decade of friendship, but I also know there are a lot of people who appreciate my kindness. I will do anything for the people I love. I spent too many of my teenage years being angry and bitter; always having up a thick wall. Now, I embrace emotions and feelings. It's a good thing to feel. Even if that means you get a couple broken hearts along the way.