Friday, September 3, 2010

It's a great day to be a Bobcat

Ah yes.

Can you smell it? Old country brick roads... new comforters and plastic storage containers.. freshly opened Natty Light...

Freshman move in weekend.. and another excuse for upper classmen to buy a keg and post up on their porches, all for the sake of watching the freshman biscuits move in and intimidating the hell out of the parents that have no idea what they just got their kids into.

Right above our heads was a painted sheet that read "Don't worry dad, your daughters are in good hands with 24 Stewart"
I specifically remember move in day Junior year because this heavy set girl with a blue mohawk across the street was increasingly getting obnoxiously intoxicated and was taking the whole, "scare the parents thing" too far. By noon, she was wrestling in kiddie pools, by 1 pm, she was flashing cars her nipple rings, and by 2 pm she was running down the street topless with a black spray painted bikini on top (que Katy Perry music).... you should have seen the look on those parent's faces. Sheer horror.

Well, Freshman biscuits, since I'm not there to train you properly, here are a few tips:
1. Don't pet the horse cops, they're evil and reel you in with their horse-ness and before you know it,   you are looking into the face of the enemy. (Credit to my sister Brandy: I am not stealing your identity)
2. Don't answer your dorm door without a peep hole if you are drinking. You don't have to answer. In one case I did and was greeted by the SWAT team (not really but it felt like it)
3. O'Betty's is the shit
4. Junction is the only bar you will get into as a Freshman so enjoy those J-Punches! (and tell Keith I said hi)
5. Don't start riots. It's stupid.

See you at Homecoming!

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